The perilous seesaw

Yes, the seesaw, a Childs toy, but as a balancing methods it is dangerous. You see, the one we judge tends to stand on the axial and that person lets the balance fall where that person likes it to be. In this case it is me. There is a chance that I am striking out a third time, but I cannot give up. There is a chance where I get a payday that is a slice from $500 million and a second pay day that is 3% of the income for 20 years. Only 3%, as such the numbers are appealing and when did you see anyone walk away from $500 million a month? As such am I delusional? The seesaw becomes a tool, on one side we see delusional (holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, having faulty judgment) the other side is visionary (planning the future with imagination or wisdom, a person with original ideas about what the future will or could be like), and of course I lean towards the visionary side. Now this is not the first time. In 1997 I came up with the idea to hand out a free internet account that gave the people the option to talk to each other with marketing in the centre setting the stage for all to see. The so called managers at the time stated that this had no business sense, it was not the mission statement. And 4 years later we got Facebook. Now, my version was nowhere near Facebook and as such I would be surpassed, but those 4 years it would be my centre of a universe. So I know I am a visionary one. These managers now proclaim that they saw it all coming. They were bloody clueless. So this time around I will find a way and even as Google, Amazon and a third party are optionally blind, and I will not allow Microsoft near it (the merely screw up IP for the need of Azure). I will find a way, but I am tempered by the setting of self measurement. There is always doubt in me, I know that but the payday of a slice of $500,000,000 is too appealing. I merely need to find the right party. Yet I also need to be careful, If I give away too much they make it their and leave me with nothing. Americans tend to be that way, as such I have a decent challenge. Where to find that party, where to find the ones willing to pay and optionally those who do not care about ‘losing’ $50 million (post taxation) and a few other items. The payday for them os well over 5,000% of investment. An optional good deal. So how to make sure that I get the right players? I could turn to China, I could find the billionaire who is willing to take a gamble (Elon Musk) and there are a few others. There is optionally Tim Cook, he has a value of $1,800,000,000 and might not even miss the $50 million, and with the solemn swear of $500,000,000 a month adding to his fortune might be the juice he would be willing to take a chance on and after that payday when it comes to fruition he would not hesitate to hand over the additional 3%, not whilst he gets to make the 97%. Like any seesaw, these equations need a balancing act, especially as 50 million is not nothing, even for a billionaire it is still money. As such people like Elon Musk and Tim Cook have alternatives, there is Jeff Bezos (but Amazon is seemingly a failure), Larry Ellison remains an option and Michael Dell (Dell computers). There are a few others, but when they are too old, they might not like the challenge of something new that has not been done before. The Googlers also seemingly failed to act, so I need to find other venues. There is a chance that people like Qatar’s Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani might want to enter the tech sector. The same could be said for Crown Prince Shaikh Mishaal Ahmad Jaber Al-Sabah, Crown Prince Sheikh Mohammed bin Salman who is worth over 2 trillion, which is why a first part was offered to the Consulate general of Saudi Arabia to Sydney. I have to make moves that are not predictable and retirement is looming (with empty coffers) and personally I do not care who grows the solution, as long as it grows, I am a person like anyone else and as such hindered by ego (to the smallest degree). And the idea to enter retirement smiling looking at a new pair of ski’s whilst some wannabe’s out of my past are sitting in a chair holding a drink wondering what they missed, is appealing, very appealing. 

But I realise that I am standing on the axial, pointing the seesaw towards visionary, I get that and I wonder “Could I be wrong?” The numbers, the solutions they all show me I am right, so why didn’t Google or Amazon see that and doubt sets in, but I believe in myself. I know that I have the winning hand and I have to see it through, because that 3% adds up $15 million a month, making it $180 million a year for 20 years and that is one hell of a payday. So I stand strong believing in myself, but doubt is just around the corner and I have done the equations again and again, starting on a new piece of paper every time and the predictions come up the same and I held onto the most conservative version, not the most optimal version, because that is the step that leads to the delusional path, if that goes good, if that goes right. It is the wrong way to make a case and I heeded for that mistake, as such it is the path where almost everything goes wrong and I still end up with the payday I never had before. Time will tell the truth, but when? I wonder.